Thoughts I had today...

I just had such a beautiful today so I felt the need to make note of it on "Adventure # Next". I shared this little morning story with Facebook already but I feel the need to memorialize it here on the blog as well. This post is far less serious than the others I have written. My week has been full of adventure though and what better place to record adventure than here?

So, I woke up this morning still feeling the severe aches of Tuesday's workout. Seriously. Is that healthy? Wow. Not the point. So I woke up and to say the least was not thrilled about the fact that it was time to get ready for the 7:45 staff meeting which is 45 min away from home. Again, not the point.

I happened to catch a glimpse of light that had found its way through my upturned vertical blinds, through the blackout pull down shade and around the corners of my dark brown and black striped curtains. Amazing. All it takes is one little crack. So, I decided that if the rising sun’s light were truly brilliant enough to find its way through all the barriers I had placed so confidently to keep it out then it certainly deserved my attention. So I bounded out of bed and rushed to the window, hence removing the not-so-tightly placed window coverings and revealing a not-at-all-disappointing sunrise. It was in fact quite breath taking. After my eyes adjusted to the bright light I took this picture for you to enjoy. Enjoy.



So then there was my work day. What a wonderful day it was. Quite a feat for me (not "feat." with a period that stands for “featuring” when following an artist’s name in a song title- thanks Jilly). A real big time career accomplishment. The success of the first of hopefully many Cole Community Service Provider gatherings. A well organized and executed luncheon. It was delightful. Utterly reassuring to know that all the hours of planning played out perfectly and that 30 organizations walked away with new knowledge and networks for greater community success.


After a long and refreshing work day, I spent some time driving around, running errands in the early evening time. Perfect relaxation. Driving in the car, listening to wonderful music. I looked up in the sky to find the fingernail clipping in the sky (otherwise known as the waxing moon crescent) situated in such a way that I thought about Freshman year Physical Science at BJ when Dr. Matzko asked me if I was stupid for my wrong answer about the moon. Made me laugh. I was never offended by it either. I found it sincerely entertaining. :o)

"And today was a day just like any other..."

The Emotional Narcoleptic

This is one of those, "so I had a random thought" kind of blogs.

Yesterday I found out that a friend of mine is narcoleptic. While I'm sure we all had a good laugh over narcoleptic Enrico Pollini (played by Rowan Atkinson) in Rat Race I'm thinking it's not so funny in real life. Pretty serious actually.

In college I used to thrive on those late night cram sessions to complete a last minute assignment.
I remember my last semester of college- that 20 page paper that was due.
The one I started the week of and wrote 10 pages of the night before.
Ya, that night of 3 Starbucks double shots in a two hour span.
I forced my body to come up with the energy needed to finish that paper (and get a pretty darn good grade on it too).
My narcoleptic friend can't do that.

That was all just a side note. The thought started when she told me that her body has a built in prevention for over stressing. It just shuts down.

"Funny," I thought, "I kind of have an emotional switch like that."

I've never really thought of it like that before but it's true. It's almost as if emotionally I get to a certain point and then it just shuts off- goes to sleep until the situation has reached a more manageable level of emotional involvement. Accept it never happens with what we would view as positive emotions. I am fully capable of experiencing extreme amounts of happiness without my emotional narcolepsy kicking in. It only kicks in when something makes me sad.

I wonder,
Is there any way to keep it from turning off?
What would happen if I were able to let myself feel the depths of sorrow?
To be honest, I don't even know what they look like...

My unchanging God in my ever changing world

The blog you are about to read has been recycled from my written journal dated 7/8/09.

I was in the middle of enjoying an exceedingly delicious steak yesterday when it got me thinking, “What a great God who would let me enjoy such a good gift as this.” :o) That was the start. Then I was thinking of how God has made me dependant on consuming food. He could have created me to be self sufficient but He, in His great kindness, made me need food AND be able to enjoy it.
And so the analogy begins. God could have made me spiritually self sufficient but He has ordained progressive sanctification by means of the Bread of Life. The Bible must be my daily food. Must be consumed for life, and that takes work on my part.

Side note: so, I (the 1/10/10 me) disagree with myself (the 7/8/09 me) here. It takes work on my part? Really? Since when was any good thing inside me, or done by me ever the result of my work?
Galatians 3:3 “Are you so foolish? Having begun by the Spirit, are you now being perfected by the flesh?”

But the work isn’t like the feeding of animals who don’t enjoy it. It is MUCH different for image bearers. It is my reward also.
So last night after hours of meditation on food and The Word and food in the coming Kingdom, I was hungry (and I don’t mean for another steak). I sincerely desired the Word and when I ate some, it only made the longing stronger! I even read about food. :o)

I stared here in Isaiah 1:16-20.

“Wash yourselves; make yourselves clean; remove the evil of your deeds from before my eyes; cease to do evil, learn to do good; seek justice, correct oppression; bring justice to the fatherless, plead the widow's cause. "Come now, let us reason together, says the LORD: though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool. If you are willing and obedient, you shall eat the good of the land; but if you refuse and rebel, you shall be eaten by the sword; for the mouth of the LORD has spoken."

The Lord calls for repentance. He says “If you consent and obey, you will eat the best of the land” vs 19
The reward = food, eating

Isaiah 3:1 begins with the negative- famine because of rebellion
Vs 10 again is the reward given in food and eating for the righteous

Isaiah 5:11-12

“Woe to those who rise early in the morning, that they may run after strong drink, who tarry late into the evening as wine inflames them! They have lyre and harp, tambourine and flute and wine at their feasts, but they do not regard the deeds of the LORD, or see the work of his hands."

This is different because the woe is not due to visible action here. God says “woe” to the ones who have wine WITHOUT acknowledging the deeds of the Lord (I dare say this passage is not referring just to substances but to any doing or using without the acknowledgement of God). The one who provided the gift. It goes deeper here- to the heart’s response (all this is punished by famine and drought).

*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*

I came across this a few days ago (exactly 6 months later- 1/8/10) and was stunned by the change that has taken place in my heart from that day to today. Oh how I wanted it then! I can’t say that I have ANY idea when the change began but I’ve been in a funk as my dear friend Jill would call it and I’ve been there for a few weeks (it feels so much longer than that). A spiritual desert of sorts.

As of late I have been wrestling with the fact that I don’t feel motivated to pursue Christ. I’m learning to not hate verbalizing the truth that shows my weakness. Oh how I hate being weak! Even with the knowledge that weakness is good and allows for great amounts of grace to be worked out in my life, I can’t help but feel entirely uncomfortable there. It’s funny, I really don’t experience being uncomfortable all that often so it’s even more of a foreign concept to me and I simply dislike it.
Back to the point- I’m struggling with motivation that actually produces action. So I read this quote the other day.

“…there are two ways to run from God- rebellion and religion, and only one way to live in him- in a relationship of affection.” ~Wayne Jacobsen

I’m realizing that I’m still running from God. No, it doesn’t look like it used to, all polished up with a bow on top and a name tag that said “Religion”. Now it’s just ugly. It’s just rebellion. I see what I’m supposed to be doing and I walk away. I went from Isaiah 5 to Isaiah 1 but they’re both just running.

It’s not that I haven’t had my spurts of affection. I had a few each day.
It’s not that I have zero desire for the Lord. Not by any means. It's been there all along.
It’s just a self focused, dessert dwelling sort of time in life when I don’t SEE the Lord and I feel like I'm fading.
I’m praising Him for faith in spite of it though. The fact that I still believe He is here – right now in my time of suffering- THAT is faith and HE gives faith.
Faith makes me believe that my suffering has a purpose and so I am learning to embrace that suffering for the sake of what I will gain of my Christ.


David told me tonight that the work of Christ on my behalf to count me as righteous before the Father is only part of the equation. While that ought to motivate me it is only half of the picture. The other half is the work of the Spirit in my life to produce the action.
:o) < That right there is the representation of the first internal smile when it comes to this little journey that I have felt in a few weeks. It is followed by a sigh of relief.
:o) *sigh* (and another)

"Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation."
The Lord is at work.
Aslan in on the move.
"Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God."
I wanted the Word again today.
I wanted it and the Spirit took me there and let me drink.