Today I am meditation on Christ’s love for me in spite of my deep sin (mis propios pecados). I meditate on this to counteract the lies of injustice and hurt from the sins of others that bombard me and threaten to triumph. The sins of others that my flesh would turn away from in disgust out of hurt and self-righteousness. The sins of others that the Spirit inside of me responds to with gentleness, humility, long suffering, and forgiveness. To me though, it feels a lot like betrayal and I tell myself that I don’t have any right to be hurt because, for all practical purposes, it had nothing to do with me. THIS is my experience though. The sins of others hurt. I don’t need anyone else to validate that. I hold back the proof behind heavy eyelids and a forced smile.
So I say to my soul, “Meditation on Christ’s love for you in spite of your deep sin.”
I am amazed by the depth in which I am accepted in Christ. I cannot begin to comprehend just how He does it. I guess I would place this act under the word perfection in the dictionary. A verb even though Webster calls it a noun. It describes the way He looks on me in all of my sin, rebellion, and filth (aka- me at my best) and He loves me. He isn’t repulsed by me and He doesn’t hold it against me at all. He doesn’t name me Filthy as he ought to but instead clothes me in righteousness and calls me Beauty. This is what I’m called to do toward others too but I can only do it when I understand, accept, and acknowledge that it has already been done for me. And it has been done. In a big way. This one (the means to perfection) goes under Calvary in the dictionary.
And to those who have caused pain to others with their sin I long to say, “The weight of your sin isn’t yours alone anymore. In relationship your sin affects others. That means it hurts others too and that means that they bear the hurt with you. The weight of your sin doesn’t isolate you or cause distance from others when dealt with properly. When dealt with in light of Calvary, your sin now binds you even more to the ones you are in relationship with. In relationship your sin both past and future hurts others too. In relationship the forgiveness by Christ for your sin is enough to cover the hurts on every side.”
I see now that today’s battle was one of forgiveness.
How could I not forgive when I have been forgiven of so much?
“And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ by grace you have been saved…” Ephesians 2:1-5
